A Break

I never thought that just 3 months into having this blog, I would already be giving up. I'm not sure what to write to be honest but a lot has happened over the last few weeks. So much so, I can't keep up with it. 

I've just been hurt again and again and it's got too much now and I'm at the point where I can't cope properly. 

My blog feels like just another thing taking up too much time, even though I barely write anymore. It's just another distraction and it just doesn't make me happy like it used to. 

Who knows how long I'll be gone, maybe a couple of weeks, maybe a month. Who knows. 

I really appreciate all the kind emails, messages and comments I've had regarding my Sundiary's and I know I haven't replied to any but I just don't know what to say. 

I will be back once I've properly sorted my life out. 

Thank you everybody. 

Sundiary #7

♥ This week has been better than the last few weeks. I've found a friend who I haven't spoken to for a while and confined in her, I suppose the act of sharing a problem takes away a lot of the pain. 

♥ It feels like my life is getting back on track again which is brilliant. I'm so glad to finally feel as if my life is going in the right direction. 

♥ I've finished year 9, GCSE's now..

♥ The dieting and workouts have gone completely out the window! I've been too busy to even think about it! But I will make sure half term isn't spent in bed or sitting on my arse watching tv!

♥ I've started using eBay again this week, I went through a period of being obsessed with it but then I just stopped using it. I used it this week and managed to get a few goodies including Benefit's High Brow for just £4!

♥ The weather has been crap this week but it's finally starting to look up slightly!

♥ I went shopping with my boyfriend this morning and spent all his money! It was a good feeling ;)

♥ I saw some family yesterday who I don't see very often and that was really lovely!

♥ I'm planning my next giveaway as well, I'm thinking Mac Pigment's.. ;)

What's In My Makeup Bag?

In my makeup bag, I carry around all the products I use everyday that I need to top up daily like concealor, powder, mascara etc. I don't carry stuff like BB cream and foundation but this is what I use on an everyday basis. 

My current makeup bag is this red plastic one, it's from Jack Wills and it's so easy to clean as it's rubber. 

The BB cream I use daily is Witch naturally clear anti-blemish beauty balm. I got this at a car boot sale and it is a really good BB cream. It has witch hazel in it, which is amazing for the skin and it's just so easy to blend and makes my foundation go on very nicely. 

The foundation I am using at the moment is Rimmel's Match Perfection. I'm not really sure if I like this foundation or not yet but when it's finished, I don't think I'm going to purchase it again. I just really like the bottle haha!

I use a couple of pumps of Soap and Glory's Hocus Focus with my foundation. It is a liquid highlighter but you can also use it with your foundation, like I do. It makes my foundation look so shiny and my skin look amazing! 

I use the Real Techniques buffing brush to apply my BB cream and foundation. I then use a Superdrug powder brush for powder, Bobbi Brown powder brush for bronzer and the Real Techniques contour brush for blusher. 

I use Rimmel's Stay Matte powder on top of my foundation. It takes the shine away and makes it look more Matte and natural. I have repurchased this powder many times and it is by far one of my favourites. 

I currently use a No 7 bronzer, I love this bronzer. I find most bronzers are just too weak and just fall apart when you rub your brush around but this one is great. It is nearing the end and I have been trying to find it but no luck so far!

I also use this MUA blusher in the shade Bubble Gum. I have had very mixed emotions towards this blusher as I find it's very bright. You really don't need much and have to blend it in very well but I think if you do make sure it's done properly, it looks good. 

I use Collection Lasting Perfection concealor in the shade Warm Medium 3. As much as I love this concealor, all the writing rubbed off after not long and it just looks really cheap now. 

I have purchased quite a few of these and I find they do, do the job. 

I use Rimmel The Falsies mascara and I doubt I'll ever use anything else. Although I've been complimenting buying Benefits They're Real, I think this is the best drugstore mascara. 

I use MUA's intense colour eyeliner for my waterline and Rimmel Scandal Eyes thick and thin for my cat flicks. I love both eyeliners, both give a really nice effect. 

This seems really strange to most people but I actually use brown eyeliner to fill my eyebrows in. I don't like using eyeshadow or eyebrow pencils as I find eyeshadow doesn't last all day and eyebrow pencils very waxy and unnatural. 

I use NYC's Kohl Kajal eyeliner in chocolate brown, it makes my eyebrows look very natural but a bit stronger. 

I also use Benefit's High Brow and I can not express my love for this product. It is my favourite thing I've ever bought and so worth the money I spent on it. You put it under your eyebrows and it makes them look lifted and amazing! I will write a separate blog post on it but it's just such a good product!

Sundiary #6

♥ Today in Britain we actually had some sun, shock horror and I did spend the day in the sun and got a lovely tan!

♥ Last week, I genuinely thought life couldn't get any worse but apparently it can. This week has been awful and Thursday was by far the worst night of my life, no exaggeration. I'm starting to think, what did I do to deserve all this? No human deserves this pain. I just feel like I'm losing everything, person by person and there's nothing I can do about it. 

♥ My workouts started out so well but as the week went on, my mind was on other stuff. I spent too much time crying to even think about working out..

♥ It's my last week of school this week before half term and I tell you, I need a break. 

♥ And as if I hadn't had enough going on this week, I got ill twice. Great. 

♥ I can't really think of anything good that's happened to balance it out like I usually do..

♥ I hope you all had a lovely week though!

Big Beauty Haul

I have bought a lot over this past month and thought that now would be the perfect time for a haul!

The first part of this haul is from Brighton a few weeks ago when I popped into Boots to get some more foundation. I don't usually go into Boots, I usually get everything from Superdrug because quite simply, I get lost in Boots haha. 

I bought the Rinmel Match Perfection foundation in Classic Beige and the Rimmel Kate Moss lipstick in 107. I've already written a blog post about this lipstick and how beautiful it is. The Match Perfection foundation is also brilliant and really lives up to it's good reviews. 

Car boot season has arrived, my favourite time of the year. Me and my mum always go along, not every week, but we also make sure we go to a few. You really can get some amazing bargains. 

I got 3 brand new Estêe Lauder cleansers. 50p each, just thought it was such good value, can't say no really!

I also got a Witch Hazel BB cream, Soap and Glory Hocus Focus and a Superdrug BB cream from the car boot. Again, 50p each which is just such good value especially for the Soap and Glory highlighter - which I must also add is a m a z i n g. 

I did buy more at the car boot like a phone case, makeup bag and a bag but I'm only putting 'beauty' items in this haul, haha. 

To my excitement, today my superdrug package arrived that I ordered a few days ago. As most people will know, superdrug have a 3 for 2 sale on at the moment, eekkk, so my bank balance has suffered because of that..

First we have MUA lipsticks. If you read my post about 2 months ago, you'll know I bought 3 of these and thought such good things. I loved them so much I actually bought the whole set of them. 

They're £1 each and I can't express how bloody good they are! I will write a separate post on the whole collection as I could easily write an essay about them!

I also got all 4 MUA lip liners. I'm not too sure why, I think I just thought if the lipsticks are good, the lip liners are bound to be? Maybe? Haha. 

At £1 each, I haven't tried them out yet but they do look very good. 

I did go a little MUA crazy but MUA is my new discovery. I bought an eyebrow pencil and eyeliner, again just £1 each! The thing I love most about these is the pencil sharpener in the lid. I am always wrecking pencil sharpeners by sharpening eyeliners and eyebrow pencils. The lip liners also have the pencil sharpener lid. 

This isn't really beauty related as such but as you probably already know, I've started working out recently to try and lose a bit of weight. As much as I am enjoying the working out, it isn't half killing me haha. I've been in so much pain the last few days and muscle soak is something I used to use so repurchased it. 

I paid just 97p for this as it was half price. It does absolute wonders and I couldn't recommend it enough. 

Rimmel Scandal Eyes eyeliner is the next thing I bought. I've heard such good things about this so I thought let's just get it. 

It's basically a black felt tip but it doesn't smudge or move as it's waterproof. It was £5.49 which I think is very reasonable for the standard. 

As I've already mentioned, Superdrug are having a 3 for 2 at the moment. I needed a new blusher and my sister never stops going on about MUA blushers so I bought 3 (one for my sister). 

She uses the shade Lolly and as I've never tried MUA blushers, I bought 2 shades so I can see what looks best. 

I bought Bubblegum and Marshmallow. 

The last item I bought was some Real Techniques brushes. I used to have some of these but I used them so much, they did eventually get to the point where they got tacky and started to fall apart. 

I have been complimenting buying more for ages now but I had money so I just thought let's do it.

It is £21 for the 4 brushes and the stand but I do think it's worth it. 

I will write a separate review sometime.

Weighing The Scales

We live in a kind of society where pretty much everything is labelled. Everyone is judged and there is no stopping it. 

Weight loss can be a tough subject to write about is a lot of insecure people in the world who see themselves bigger than they are and it really is a real shame. 

I am obese, as much as I try to cover up it up and tell myself I'm not, I am. I have always been an overweight child and have always longed to do something about it, but just never have. 

I would love to be able to blame my size on someone else but it truly is no-one's fault but my own. I am responsible for what I eat and how much exercise I do, I don't get food forced down my throat or made to eat anything. It is completely up to me. 

In my opinion, a lot of people confuse beauty and weight. I've heard people say 'you can't be pretty when you're fat' before, first of all fat is a disgusting word. You have fat, you're not fat though. Second of all, you can be pretty whatever size you are! Look at people like Gemma Collins, absolutely gorgeous and she's not the smallest of people. We can't all be a size 8!

I do get comments about my weight and I have heard some nasty things that my so called friends have said behind my back but it's the sarcastic comments that hurt most. By sarcastic comments I mean when you walk past a group of teenage boys for instant and they shout 'you're so fit' or 'my mate wants you'. It does seem to really hurt. 

I've decided it is time to lose a bit of weight. Summer is coming up, the weather is gradually getting better, it is a good time to get out for walks and runs. 

I don't want to be like this forever, I know if I put the work in I can have a body similar to what I've always dreamt about. I don't want to be out of breathe after running up the stairs or not being able to finish the running in P.E.

I know being healthier will make me a lot happier as well. 

I've come up with 5 main goals for me and this weight loss:

1) Drink water before every meal. It fills you up a bit, make you eat less. It's also great for the skin, helps get rid of spots and will led to clearer skin. 

2) Walk the long way round. I mean this in a few ways, at school and at home. Say if I've got a lesson or got somewhere to go and a bit of time, I will walk the long way home. I also mean this in general, walking home from school and in everyday life. There's two ways to get back to my house, one that takes 5 minutes and one that takes 10. I will push myself to walk the long way everyday. 

3) No snacks between meals. I know my mum did recently lose a stone just from not snacking. I eat way too much crap between meals so whenever I'm hungry between meals from now on, I'm going to have a nice big glass of water to fill me up. 

4) Eat my 5 a day. As simple as it sounds, the goverment do recommend eating 5 fruit and vegetables a day for a reason. I am not the healthiest person at all and I really do think I could switch parts of my meals for healthier options.  

5) Work out. It is also recommended that you do a hour of exercise everyday, something I've never done. I really want to start making more of an effort with exercise and I did actually do a work out last night. I had a P.E lesson today and did about 30 minutes psychical exceeise so I'm going to do another 30 minutes tonight. 

I'm going to take this one day and one pound at a time. I'm going to push myself as hard as I can and really work for this. I'm doing it purely for myself, not for anyone else. Just myself and my health. 

Finding motivation will defiantly be the hardest part of all this but I know I can do it. I'm just going to think of the end result constantly. I will be tracking my process weekly with my Sundiary.

Any tips/tricks/advice/motivation would be deeply appreciated!

Put some upbeat songs on, go outside when the weathers nice and think of the end result. It will be worth it!

Sundiary #5

♥ This picture was taken by me one Winter evening around Christmas time. I found it the other day whilst looking through old photos but how beautiful? There really is a lot I miss about Winter and surprisingly, it getting dark early is one of those things. 

♥ This week has just been as crap as last week on a whole different level. It just feels like one bad thing after another. I just find myself asking, can I be happy now? Is that too much to ask?

♥ I've lost interest in a lot of things i used to love, I don't know if I won't be interested forever or is it just a phase. Things like blogging, watching YouTubers and even eating some days. It's just felt like such a chore to write a blog post or watch a YouTube video instead of enjoying it. 

♥ I have learnt a valuable life lesson this week, don't put all your trust into anyone. As controversial as it sounds, I have been lied to, cheated on and used for quite a while now by someone I thought really loved me. 

♥ It's half term in 2 weeks which makes everything seem a bit better! 2 weeks left of year 9!

♥ I've become closer to my family now than I ever have been before. I don't know how I would of coped recently if it wasn't for them. I'm so lucky and so grateful to have them.